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There are four types of muckers

By Leek Post and Times  |  Posted: April 02, 2014

Comments (1)

SOMETHING has been bothering me for some time and it wasn't until I stepped out of my car the other day right into some that I decided to air my grievances.

Over the last 12 months the amount of dog muck around town has increased immensely.

I regularly walk through Brough Park, down Park Road and round Abby Green Road, and the pavements looked like as though they have been caught in a chocolate factory explosion.

You can't step more than a few feet without doing a quick side step, and some, maddeningly, is left within a couple of metres of dog poo bins.

Now call me obsessive, but I decided to do a little bit of observational research on dog muck leavers and here is what I discovered.

There are four main types of dog muckers in Leek, each with their own style and moves. 1.The dragger – The dog walker tries to stop dog fouling in middle of the pavement so drags it along to the nearest patch of grass, allowing the dog to finish its business.

Signs to spot – small amounts of muck appear in smeary five-inch intervals before finishing in a small pile on the grass. Poo is left. 2.The 'didn't see it' – Dog is let off lead to run freely and walker marches on in front seemingly oblivious to the dog stopping and fouling. Walker didn't see dog, therefore doesn't have to pick up muck. Genius.

Signs to spot – walker has marching gait with eyes position straight ahead. Lead in hand, dog at least five metres behind for full effect. 3.The Pretender – A curious one, the Pretender. It lets its dog foul and then, sensing people around the immediate vicinity, takes a poo bag, bends down, passing the bag over the poo in a scooping motion but doesn't actually pick it up. In the meantime, the passer-by has walked on thinking the pretender has picked up the poo.

Signs to spot – shifty look, with darting eyes when over fouling dog. Seemingly endless supply of poo bags in their pockets. 4.The Hanger -– The hanger is the best of all, a unique breed amongst dog walkers, and they are on the rise. The dog muck is picked up but instead of holding onto the bag until a bin is passed, the bag is hung on the nearest branch, gate, fence or squirrel. This method is mainly due to the immense weight and effort it takes to carry a poo bag around for a short period of time.

Signs to spot – a difficult one to spot as the hanger is cunning and stealthy, poo bags hung in summer can go unnoticed for months. A real master. On more serious note, it is getting out of hand. Anyone with any pride for their town and surroundings must be sick to death of the mess on our streets.

It is not as if there is a lack of dog bins, and many of the normal bins allow dog poo bags.

It would be interesting to know how many people have been fined and prosecuted for dog fouling.

It's all about personal responsibility and I am afraid to say it – as a dog owner myself – but if you can't be responsible to pick up after your dog, then you are not responsible enough to own one. Name and address supplied

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  • ecartak808  |  April 03 2014, 1:21PM

    Your letter is hilariously written, however it is true. The different psychological traits of your observed dog muckers is accurate. More of this please!

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